— Notes on the Web

The rough sea is the best place to be.

Some games are played only to win. We stay in the ring no matter what and stand on the feet longer. That’s the habit.

We don’t care much for what others see, what the commentators said, what the spectators felt or the distant chorus of  those watching television. What they see is not the fight, because they are way too far to see the resolve of steel set in our eyes for a fight long done yet still not over. Opponents change and the punches vary but the ring will surrender to the one who stands at the end. And that’s the game some play. Just out of habit.

The game is on now.. till the lights are out. Hang in and don’t hand up.

Search for the reason that bids you write; find out whether it is spreading out its roots in the deepest places of your heart, acknowledge to yourself whether you would have to die if it were denied you to write. This above all—ask yourself in the stillest hour of your night: must I write?

So said Rainer Maria Rilke, to a young Franz Kappus.

On a night when I was up to things that I deem unfit for the aware, Nidhi sent me a link to this note. And as a week marked by the discomfort of having words to say but not finding a verse to do so closed, I was moved by how remarkable a presentation Rilke had made for what constitutes art and artists. Of course he can, which is why he is what he was.

But a thread of my belief is in the honesty that goes into a work of art. The voice of the heart. I was glad to see an Artist vouch for its necessity.

A work of art is good if it has sprung from necessity. In this nature of its origin lies the judgement of it: there is no other. Therefore, my dear sir, I know no advice for you save this: to go into yourself and test the deeps in which your life takes rise; at its source you will find the answer to the question whether you must create. Accept it, just as it sounds, without inquiring into it. Perhaps it will turn out that you are called to be an artist.

In the end in the blurry lines of what we see and believe lies the fine thread of a fact that Art makes an Artist..and not the other way round.

Ideas culled. Plans falling apart. Time lost. Sleep deprived. Bad news avalanche. Empty documents. Piling To-dos. Email backlogs. Missed deadlines. Missed meetings. Envy. Apathy. Guilty pleasures. Gluttony. Deflated bravado. Shaken confidence. Broken trust.

So many things take their toll everyday. Breaking.

But I try. Every morning put on a new face. Ignore bits and pieces of everything. Fight. Fall again by night. Head home broken. Trying is not good enough, but at the moment that’s all I’ve got to give.

Anyway, nothing prevails. Not me, neither my torments.

All that remains is a blurry distant vision..shining like hope.

Bad image but the point of the post

Most people I meet measure their lives in everything that they have experienced.

Which is great to an extent but it sucks as hell. It is based on consumption and I can’t help but find it shallow. The grand retirement plan beyond money..the idea that when we look back at life when is all said and done we are not left with the regret of having missed something to enjoy.

I don’t get a kick out of something like that. Building new things is a lot more exciting than trying new things to me.

When I look back at the corridor from the gates of my death I want to see shining bricks of contribution a lot more than gaping holes of consumption. There are thrill seekers, sailors who jump on ships and go beyond what is beyond to discover new. Then there are those who stay put and be the new for which ships sail for. They are the stories and destinations. They are the thrill. People like that get me going more than the seekers of the thrill.

Consumption is important.

New experiences build us, but when we don’t translate it into anything more it affects balance. And it is not just the immediate life, but the society that we build around us. I don’t know if it is just my taste but most people I hang out with fall into this consuming variety and very little of the contributing kind. Of course there are people who create and build, but that’s different because it is done with the intent of even more consumption…not the right reason mostly. The expectation is about consuming more, that insecurity of defining ourselves with what’s outside than what’s within.  I think this is what builds societies and nations of character, because it brings balance.

Balance is important.

I don’t know where I lie right now but the thrills that I seek are those that will help me leave behind a lot more than I took away. That I invest in an economy of contribution.

The right reason – It seems to answer a lot of questions.

Like the time when sayanti and kruti suggested doing some HR activities at Smursh. On a broad level it was the usual team building points ..doing things together, spicing the place up..things one would read about in publicity materials and newspapers on cool work places.

I have never been convinced about such initiatives. Most of all company offsite done in the name of bonding and team building, maybe it is needed for larger teams but I wouldn’t know that.

And then as I was putting my thoughts down for this post I came across this Quora discussion about Square. There was interesting couple of paragraphs in one of the answers.

“When I worked at Square, my happiest memories are times spent not working: company movie out at Metreon, Larry King visiting, and having great, casual conversations in cabanas with friends.

Contrast to when I was at Apple, my fondest memories were drawing app icons and interface elements. It sounds weird, but I really enjoy doing that (that’s why I made that my profession). And being able to do that for a company like Apple made me very happy, no matter how late into the evening I sometimes spent working on things.”

See the difference?

The difference is the reason you get up and go to work. I am not going to make this a comparison between Square and Apple, it is not a testimony to Apple. But take any X and Y company, I would want to be part of a place where the work is the reason you go to work. That’s the place you end up staying..otherwise it always is a hopping game.

Should people come to work at Smursh because it is fun, because we have a gym and games and a cafeteria? I don’t know know for sure. But I would like to imagine building this firm where courageous work comes out, where we stay away from status-quo and bring new thought and new things alive. We haven’t broken path yet, but we have in our small little history made sure we bring something new to the table always.

Every company has to fulfill a promise, and that’s got to be the reason to get everyone to work in it. That’s its reason to be.

***The crux of the post is done here, but I’d like to go a little further, read on if you are the kind who does otherwise this is good enough***

The right reason

When Rahul Dravid retired there was a line in his rehearsed goodbye that stood out for me. He said he chose this time to move on because had he continued it wouldn’t have been for the right reasons. This post dawned on me back then, it sort of were words that I was looking since a long time. On Dravid’s part it was perhaps just an observation but for me it summed up a lot of points I wanted to make in general.

That day it felt like the right reason is the 42 of our real world.